I’ve broken 2 Samuel into 2 parts.
Where we left off, Saul was mercy killed by one of his men. The man returned to David to report what had happened. David had the man who killed Saul killed. Why didn’t God stop him? How did the man deserve to die?
More sexism occurs: David says the love of Jonathon was greater than the love of women while lamenting Jonathon’s death. Why is he even comparing the two?
David decides to move to Hebron, with God’s blessing of course. David is made king of Judah, he was king for 7 years. This claim doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. He’s made king of all of Israel after Ishbosheth’s death, but is king of Judah alone for 7 years. What happened in the missing 5 years? Ishbosheth is made king of Israel. As you may have noticed from my earlier comment, he only reigned for 2 years.
For some reason, some of the Israelites decided it would be fun to have the young Israelites kill each other. This somehow led to a war between David’s and Saul’s people. Though it sounds like it was already going on. Was this the same war as before? What does the young men killing each other have to do with it? Why were they fighting? Did David want the kingship? Why did David have to fight for it if God gave him the kingship? Joab’s family is cursed because Joab killed Abner as a result of the young men fighting.
The head of Ishbosheth is delivered to David. The men who killed him were killed by David’s men. Why was David fighting them if he never intended to kill their leaders? Did he just want a war for the sake of a war?
David is made king of Israel, he ruled for 40 years. David conquers more territory, and takes more wives and concubines. Why?
David and his men for some reason take the Philistines’ idols. Isn’t this a no-no? Isn’t God afraid they’ll decide to worship them? What did they do with them?
God rides on the Ark of the Covenant again. An ox stumbled, so Uzzah caught the ark. God struck down Uzzah for touching the ark. This seems stupid. Is it better to let the ark hit the ground? If it did, who would pick it up? What would happen to them? What about the ox? I’m surprised God didn’t strike it down. David feared the ark as a result (who wouldn’t?), so he left it behind.
David danced for God. Michal hated David for dancing for God. Michal had no children as punishment. This doesn’t seem like much of a punishment. What if she didn’t want kids? And how is jealousy worthy of a punishment? Who wouldn’t be upset if their husband (or wife) kept taking more partners without considering their other partners first?
David decides to build a house for God. God tells him he’s (David) not worthy. He says he’ll build a house for David. God says that David’s son will be his son and he will use men to flog him. Um…what? I would be quite upset if someone told me they were going to beat my children. For any reason. David’s throne will supposedly last forever. Last time I checked, the Jews don’t have a king. Did God lie? David says that God is great for what he has done. But…God hasn’t done anything yet. He just made a promise. David slept with a woman and got her pregnant. Does this count as adultery? Because David never gets punished for it. Joab is told to take a city. David marries the dead leaders wife. How many wives does David have? David is accused of taking from the poor to avoid giving up his own stuff because he took another wife. David is told that all his wives would be taken away. What is it with David and women? And why doesn’t God say “don’t kill men and take their wives” before he has to punish David? David’s sin is taken away, but his son is killed as punishment. His son becomes ill when he hit hit him. This is immoral on 2 fronts. First, how did the son deserve to die because his father sinned? And second, why did David hit his kid? Because he was mad about being reprimanded? Solomon is born to David to replace the one that died…because God loved David. Lovely.
Tamar, the daughter of David, isn’t referred to as the daughter of David, rather, she is referred to as the sister of Absalom son of David. This seems silly and roundabout. Amnon says that he has become obsessed with Tamar, his brother Absalom’s sister…so…his sister? Yup…his sister. Isn’t that a sin? Doesn’t God tell Moses that people aren’t to sleep with their siblings? Tamar is asked to bake bread for Amnon so that he can eat from her hands. That sounds creepy enough on its own. He raped his sister. Then he hates her. It seems odd to hate your sister because you raped her…then again, I’m not a rapist, so raping someone sounds odd to me. It’s considered worse that he didn’t marry her than it is that he raped her. Isn’t is a sin to marry your sibling? And how would that make the rape okay? Who would want to marry and live with their rapist? Tamar is told to not take it to heart. Her brother raped her. Which part shouldn’t she take to heart? How could she avoid taking it to heart?
Absalom hated Amnon for disgracing Tamar. So his sister shouldn’t take it to heart, but it’s okay for him to. Then again, I can imagine it would be hard not to hate someone for raping someone you love. Absalom orders his men to kill Amnon, all of Absalom’s brothers fled, as did Absalom. Absalom goes into hiding.
Why I Can’t Agree With the Bible: 2 Samuel: Part 1
I’ve broken 2 Samuel into 2 parts.