Why I Can’t Agree With the Bible: 1 Kings: Part 1

In this post, I’ll be dealing with Solomon’s reign.
In the beginning of 1 Kings, David’s servants brought him a young virgin to keep him warm in his bed because he could no longer keep himself warm. Does this come across as creepy old man lies to anyone else? Seriously, the only way they could keep him warm at night was by finding him a young virgin? What about his wives? Surely enough of them were still alive to keep him plenty warm. He never sleeps with the girl. I wonder why…
Adonijah, David’s son, takes the kingship without alerting David. But Solomon is already supposed to be the next king. David swears to Solomon’s mother that Solomon will be king. This sounds very Game of Thrones-ish to me. David sets up a plot to make it clear that Solomon is the new king. Adonijah fears Solomon, so he bows down to Solomon.
David tells Solomon to act like a man. What exactly did that entail at the time?
Abner was apparently killed in peace time according to David. But didn’t we learn earlier that he died while the Israelites were fighting each other? That doesn’t sound very peaceful. The man who God apparently told to curse David is now to be put to death. How is it okay to punish a man decades after the incident happened? And why is he suddenly guilty now?
Abiathar is removed from the priesthood and Joab is put to death because of the deaths they caused years ago. Again, how is this okay? Laws have a statute of limitations for a reason. And we know that punishments aren’t very effective unless they happen immediately after the incident. So what’s the point?
David was apparently righteous and up right. But, if this is the case, how can anyone argue that he was sinful? Wasn’t God mad at him for not doing as he was told? Is he a good person or a bad one in God’s eyes?
Solomon asks God for the ability to rule better, God gives him a “wise and discerning heart.” He’s also given wealth and a long life. Solomon proves his wisdom to his people when he orders a baby be cut in half to determine who the true mother is. Solomon is said to have been wiser than anyone else. He apparently spoke 3000 proverbs.
Solomon began work on the temple for God. It took 7 years to build the temple. Solomon took 13 years to build his palace after that. Why do all the details matter? Even if the details of the temple were thought to be important for later generations, why did the details about the palace matter? And why did he need to build a palace? Didn’t the earlier kings have a palace?
The ark is put into the temple, so God filled his temple in the shape of a dark cloud. God apparently has a mouth. Solomon lies about what God says to David about his building the temple (God never said that he had done well). Solomon also claims that God promised that a temple would be built as soon as their was peace, but there was peace well before David died. God actually said that David wasn’t worthy to build his temple and it was his son who’d do it.
There are many heavens, and God doesn’t fit in any of them. How big is God? Why does he need a temple if he’s too big for even heaven?
Drought is apparently caused by sinning against God. Because there can be no natural causes for natural events.
God apparently knows every human heart. This is the first sign we get that God is omniscient. Is God changing? Or did he just forget to use these powers earlier?
Everyone, even foreigners, is to fear God. Why is God so obsessed with being feared?
Everyone apparently sins. What does this actually mean? There’s no context so it’s kind of a useless claim.
God promises that David will never fail to have a descendant on the throne. Again. I’ve been told that this is in reference to Jesus who will come back and take the throne. Who’s in the throne in the mean time? And who was in the throne before Jesus? Because if the answer to either of those is no one, then God lied. There was in fact a time where no descendant of David was on the throne. And how do the Jews explain this discrepancy?
The non-Israelites that couldn’t be killed were used as slave labour. Kind of like the Israelites were apparently used in Egypt? Why was it wrong for them to be slaves, but it’s okay for them to enslave others?
The Queen of Sheba was convinced of Solomon’s wisdom.
Solomon received 666 talents yearly. If that’s the “devil’s number,” why was he allowed to make that much? People refuse to pay or receive any monetary version of 666 today, so why was it okay for Solomon?
Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Why was God okay with him having so many wives, but not David? Why wasn’t he punished for it? He began to follow other gods. This is considered doing evil. What’s evil about it? If he was so wise, why didn’t he realize that this was a bad idea? Why did he do it anyway? God says he’ll take the kingdom away from Solomon’s son as punishment for Solomon’s actions. By which he means the worship of other gods. Why does he keep punishing people for sins committed by others? How is this moral? David’s descendants would only be left with one kingdom. But before he said they’d be left with none. So he lied about taking away all of the kingdoms, then he lied about David always having a descendant on the throne. Can he please start being consistent?
Jeroboam is told that he will be given 10 tribes.
Solomon dies, Rehoboam becomes king.